So that's how it feels...

Today, i realized that in my life, this is the first time i use this word to describe my feelings. Disappointed. I mean the real disappointment, not the one we usually say when we heard that someone we like has a girlfriend or boyfriend or when your friend did something bad to you. To be honest, in my life, it can be said that i am able to get what i want. I lead an almost perfect life. Here, i've got friends, i got a post in the student council, i have a good social life and basically, i have almost everything i want. But, to experience not having the thing i want today really makes me understand what is real disappointment. I just don't understand, i did well in my JPA interview and yet, i didn't get it. At least i manage to impress one of the guys who interview me. But when i saw the results, i felt empty. Empty as in i don't know what am i thinking at that moment. I felt that the world has just stopped spinning at that particular time. I was like, "What? Are you kidding me?" I told my friends that JPA is not that important to me and i wished i won't get it. But let me tell you, if i don't want something, i won't give a shit about it and i won't fly back to Sandakan just to attend the interview. Because deep down, i knew i wanted it. I wanted to help my parents out in the financial issue. I don't want my pursue of education to be a big burden for them. But now i have no choice but to find other universities which are able to let me study my foundations with a reasonable price. hhmmmppphh...Why does life have to be like that?