My Heart

Dear friends, let me introduce, this is my heart. Heart, say hello to my friends.. 


The heart is a very mysterious organ (or more specifically muscle). You really never know what's going on in there. For these few weeks I've been praying very hard for one thing. I prayed that God will guard my heart. And let me tell you, the harder you pray, the bigger the temptation you will get. Seriously, it's true even if it's not scientifically proven. But it's true. I've been trying very hard myself too, but somehow, you'll tend to just give in sometimes. I mean, the temptation is really to great for me to withstand. He just kept appearing in my dreams and in real life. (and yeah, it's about a guy. Duh..) And as time passed, his positive qualities began to show out more and more which is really really tempting. And somehow i began to have second thoughts. Almost everything around me reminds me of him. In the most important moments in my life, he was actually there. He is truly a very good husband and father, and he has the ability to bring me closer to God. Any girl who God chose to be with him will surely have a bright future ahead. I know i am wrong to even think of these because indirectly i am beginning to imagine i am that girl. I know i am in a very dangerous position now. I believe what God had told me few months ago and i know i have to obey Him since i knew what He already planned for me, unless He has changed His plans?? Who knows? But right now, i know i've got to put a stop on this before things get out of hand. And i really need God to guide me through this. 

10 Ways to Embrace Freedom

Caution: These are to be conducted by FEMALES ONLY. I will not be responsible for all the consequences if a guy does all the things i am going to post. And finally, do them at your own risk and any loss (either physically or mentally) will be your own responsibility!


10 WAYS TO EMBRACE FREEDOM


1) Go braless outdoors 
2) Go out without make-up
3) Walk in an expensive designer store, look interested in one of the most costly thing in the store and say out loud, "It is so affordable, but it's just not my colour!" Then, just walk out.
4) See a hottie stranger in a street? Go ahead and tell him that he's hot in his face!
5) Post on Facebook that you are so over it and you are going to delete your account. And change your mind the next day.
6) When you reach a restaurant (one that sells high-class food and the waiters' outfits are more expensive than the one you are wearing), ask if they could announce your arrival and when the waiter is walking you to your seat, look for another table and just sit there.
7) When you receive a call from a telemarketer asking whether you are interested in whatever stuff he/she is working for, ask him/her back whether they are interested in buying your car or house.
8) Take a domestic flight to and fro to another place in less than 24 hours just to eat.
9) Be the first one who dance in the dance floor of any occasion.
10) Raid your BFF's closet and borrow something you'd never wear and wear it in public.


There you go girls! How many things from the above can you do? I tell you if you could manage to do all of it, congratulations! You manage to successfully embrace freedom and don't give a shit to what others think about you! :D

The Amazing Moments in Life

1) Coming home late and go straight to bed
2) Buying amazing clothes that you found on sale
3) Holding hands
4) Unexpected moments that become your favourite memories
5) Talking on the phone until five in the morning
6) Resting on someone's chest
7) Taking long showers that wash away your worries
8) Feeling as though you finally belong to somewhere
9) Deciding on what you want to do with your life
10) Feeling satisfied after a delicious meal
11) Falling asleep instantly when you feel upset
12) Meeting people that happen to change your life
13) When you have a great night of sleep
14) Drinking a cup of tea
14) Realizing everything is going to be okay


General conclusion: My life is almost AMAZING!! :)


Cheers, people! ( And Joyce, i miss you!! )

*GULP!*

After looking at this picture, i totally have second thoughts of my ambition!!!!!!!!!! 

Speechless!!!!! 

What do you want from me?

I don't really get it. I've been trying very hard to get over you, and finally, after 2 years, i did it. I managed to successfully not think about you. At all. And now, you came looking for me again. And what is that supposed to mean? You texted me so suddenly and started pouring out your problems. I mean, where is your girlfriend when you needed her the most. It's not that I'm blaming her, but aren't you supposed to turn to her the moment you have problems? Why do you still bother to come looking for me? Why do you want to make things so complicated again? Just so you know, when you did not reply me when i sent you a birthday text, I really want to thank you for doing so. Because i don't feel a thing. That means i'm really over you. And that you do not care. But now, what is all this supposed to mean? What do you want from me? Do you think that you have not hurt me enough? And you are just so selfish. Do you really expect me to be there for you when you are not even there for me in times i needed you most? And don't you ever think of lying to me that you had not know how much i felt for you. I have given you so many chances, but you never appreciate them and i always end up feeling so disappointed in you. And don't you ever tell me that you do not feel the same way as i do, because you'll be lying to yourself. It still hurts, you know? Do you think i felt nothing whenever i pass through the places where we had our memories back then? If you do think so, you are wrong. And let me tell you this, you have given me memories that no one can ever replace them, and i am thankful for that. But for now, please, do not do this anymore. Both of us know very well enough that it is not going to get us anywhere. So, please don't ever do this again.

It's Fridayyyyy!!!!!

It's Friday again, and today was going really well! I had my Physics Trial exam this morning, and i think i did quite well. :) I loooove Physics! This was the best paper i've ever had since the beginning of the trials. All thanks to God who told me not to fear because He's always there for me. I gained faith in Him and I am really thankful for His mercy and blessings. I am glad because i have Him, not only as my God or savior, but He is my friend. I just need to call upon Him, and He will be with me at all times. It's going to be a whole long and endless list if i am to list down all the things that i need to thank Him. But, just for now, Thank God it's Friday!!! Cheers, people! 

Thank you Lord, for creating Fridays... :)

And the existence of Physics!

Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom and strength to win the battle tomorrow. I know it's going to be tough to defeat the Killing Machine that my Physics lecturer just made, but at least let me be invincible to all its attacks. Amen.

Being Single Feels Good

It's always been about me, myself and I
I thought relationships were nothing but a waste of time
I never wanted to be anybody's other half
I was happy saying i had love that wouldn't last
That was the only way i knew til' i met you
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.
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And i still feel the same way as if I have never met you before.
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And yup, that's a lie.

Burning the midnight oil

Here am i, staying wide awake although it is my bedtime now. Actually i'm not supposed to be blogging as time is precious for me to revise for my chemistry trial tomorrow. But, i figured that i might as well take a break from all those chemical terms and post something before getting back to work. Well, all the practicals are over now, and so far i think i am satisfied with both Chemistry and Physics. As for Biology, well, it's a bit tough. Tomorrow will be the day which i am most worried about. I never did well for my Chemistry but now it's time for me to evaluate myself again. For the past 2 months, i have been focusing on this subject and i really hope that my hardwork pays off! Cheers and to all my friends who are still studying, all the best!! :D

Congratulations!!!

I just knew that the famous, one and only Bernard Hiew a.k.a. tau fu pok is marrying someone from Skyline SIB!! This is totally unbelievable! Funny, cute, charming and handsome Bernard getting married, settling down? It's really hard to believe. But, her wife to be is cute and i think they look really good together. I wonder how he proposed? It's a teeny weeny bit hard to imagine him proposing in a romantic way, with candlelit dinner or under the stars...... haha! Anyways, congratulations to both of you and God Bless!! 


Cheers!! 

A Heart Full of Thanks

Thank you Lord, thank you so much for all Your blessings all this time. Forgive me for not realizing this until now. Thank you for all the things you have given to me. When i am worried, you comfort me with your words. When i am in doubt, you gave me the greatest reassurance in my life, telling me not to doubt anymore and to cast all my problems unto your loving hands. When i was going to do something wrong, you told me the right thing i am supposed to do. You've greatly blessed me with good health and joy in my life. I know it will never be enough to thank you, but i promise you, Lord that i will try my very best to fulfill my role as your child, a christian and to proclaim your greatness to others. :)

Nicknames

From the beginning of the year, my friend and i have been giving nicknames to a few of the people in school to prevent other people from knowing what and who we are actually talking about. These are all the nicknames we got (hopefully i remember all of them!)


1) Chong Chong (worm in chinese. It actually indirectly means that the person is perverted.)
2) Long Waist
3) Weird Hair Guy
4) My Stranger
5) Your Stranger
6) China Guy
7)  An Jing (Quiet in chinese, but if both words are put together, it means dog in Malay Language)
8) Kok Kok Gai (means chicken, or more precisely rooster in chinese)
9)Edward Cullen #1
10) Bella #1
11) Edward Cullen #2
12) Bella #2
13) Perfume
14) No. 13
15) Korean Guy
16) Lowby #1
17) Lowby #2
18) Best Friend
19) Best Friend's Best Friend
20) Long Legs
21) Plant
22) Suria Guy
23) Mai Ying (Sell and Win in chinese)
24) No Life Gang
25) Bible Character
26) Mother Theresa
27) IT Man
28) Leng Lui ( Beautiful Girl in chinese, but we are actually refering to a guy which we think that he'll be very pretty if she is a girl XD)
28) Miss Hong Kong
29)Marshall (from How i Met Your Mother)
30) Lily (from How i Met Your Mother)

Favourite Quotes (both heard and said)

Quote number one:

CORRECT!

Never ever look down on this word. It is so powerful that it actually manages to keep one optimistic and motivated. Teachers should use this word more rather than just saying "yes" or nodding their heads. XD

Quote number two:

What's yours will be yours and what's not yours will never be yours no matter how hard you try to get it.

This quote is more than just a quote. It is actually telling us that in life, we cannot always get what we want if it is destined to be ours. But, i am very thankful that i have got at least one thing that i want and i know that one day, it will be mine. :)

Quote number three:

Sei Lorh........ 

I know i know...This is not an optimistic quote at all. But believe it or not, i found myself using it all the time. Especially during exams or tests. So, it has unexpectedly be short-listed in to my all-time fave quote list!! :D

Quote number four:

Why do you have sore throat?

This is a stupid yet funny quote and i just heard it today, thanks to someone. *winks* Actually, this is really quite a dumb question i have to admit although it seems normal for someone to ask like that i guess.

Quote number five:

Listen, to the song here in my heart

A melody i start but can't complete...

This is actually not a quote, but the lyrics of the song, Listen by Beyonce. This song means a lot to me and it is stuck in my head for two months already and i still couldn't get rid of it. I guess it is too special for me to get over with it. 

Quote number six:

I'm so hungry! I wanna eat!

This is also one of my all-time quotes and i usually say this in school during lectures and practicals where i'll be complaining to my friend about how hungry and how desperate my stomach needs to be fed. 

Quote number seven:

I feel so dumb.

Yup, i feel like that all the time now. My school is so so so full of smart asses that makes me feel like i'm an idiot sometimes, especially during chemistry lectures and lab practicals, I wonder what are their brains made of......




:) Cheers! (:

I wonder when will it be MY turn??

Wedding Ceremony

I just came back from a wedding ceremony of one of my mum's students and i am just so happy for both of them. It's always nice to see people getting married and by just looking at them, you could already see the joy radiating from their faces. The bride was crying when her father handed her to her husband to be and sobbing when asked to hug her parents, sister and brother as a sign of peace and saying her vows. My eyes were welled with tears too and i saw a few of the people there wiping the tears off their eyes. It was such a wonderful ceremony, seeing two people getting married and spending the rest of their lives together.


Well, to Kok Vui and Cecelia Tian, all the very best and may God Bless you! :)

Fiction vs. Reality

I just finished watching a WongFu production, Shell and it inspires me to share my thoughts in this blog. This video is about fiction and reality. Our lives are shaped by our experiences. Our experiences are preserved in our memories. But what if we had a chance to remember things that we never actually experienced? "Shell" explores this idea through a quiet conversation. If you could look through a window that softened the edge between reality and fiction, what would you want to see? What would you want to remember?


If i am asked whether i would prefer to live in fiction or reality, my answer will be in fiction. I am a girl who loves to fantasize and i don't mean to bluff, but i really have a very good imagination. Which is why when it comes to writing fiction essays, i would spend all of my time writing and never wanting my story to end. 


Some people may disagree with me, saying that reality is something you have to face no matter what.  Yes i know, but i have always believed that man has choices in his life. He has options and he has the right to choose whether he wants to stay in the real world his whole life or to pay visits to the world in which everything you desire will come to you and there is nothing that can stop it. 


For me, living in fiction is actually fun and it can actually build up your confidence. People say that dreams and fantasies and imaginations are useless. But think again. They are wrong. For example, you can never get rich if you never once thought about the things you can do or get if you become rich one day, right? In other words, everyone needs imaginations and dreams. Without them, we will never be complete. Dreams and imaginations links to reality and they always pushes us to try harder to make fiction into reality. 


Fiction brings us into a world without limits. A world that is so perfect that it is impossible in reality. Fiction brings us beyond our expectations and i don't think that is a bad thing. I believe that J.K. Rowling,Cecelia Ahern and a bunch of other famous writers will back me up on this. 


Reality sometimes hurt. I should put it this way: Most of the time, reality hurts. And the only cure to it is fiction. This is because what you cannot achieve in reality can be achieved in fiction. All it needs is a bit of imagination and creativity. :)

Little Pleasures of Life (Part 2)

Taiwanese Mangoes. You'll never know how good it tastes until you try it yourself!

Pineapples

View from the Guan Mountain (Guan Shan)

View from Er Luan Bi, Kenting

Lighthouse at Er Luan Bi

The Sun 

A small path which leads to the forest track

The view outside the campus we're living in the university

From Taipei 101 with LOVE

Fellow Male Group Leaders of this Summer Camp

Night Market in Kenting

Chalets in Kenting where we stayed there for one night.

Mangoes again!

Breathtaking view from Guan Shan

Sunset

Chinese hot dog where the bread is made out of glutinous rice and the hot dog is actually a chinese style hot dog.

Sunset view taken from the bus while leaving Guan Shan

Trust

A question popped into my mind this morning. 


"Are you happy, Kelly? Are you happy with your life, Kelly?" 


This is a very simple question but i was surprised because i couldn't give an answer to this question straightaway. All i can say is: "I don't know." 


I asked this question to my best friend last night and she said yes. But why can't i be as confident as her? After thinking for a while, i knew the reason why i had difficulties answering that simple question. I have lost trust to the people around me. I do not know when did this happen. But when i come to think of it, i knew it. I found myself very hard to trust other people. 


Without trust, i cannot find true friendship and love. And only true friendship and love can make one happy. That's why i can't answer yes straightaway. Because long ago i have already lost trust. A lot of people said to me, "Kelly, you are a very strong and confident girl. How i wish i could be like you." or "Kelly, i am eighteen and you are too. But why are you so much more mature than me?" The thing is, i am strong and confident only because i do not want help from other people. And the reason why i rejected help is because i do not trust them. There's always fear inside me. Fear that i will get hurt. Fear that i will be betrayed one more time. 




Betrayal is the main reason i lost trust. Being betrayed by your best friend hurts more than anything in this world. When i heard about it, i was completely lost for words. A friend who you spend most of your time in school and outside school is actually using you all this time and even talk bad about you in front of other people. A friend who know all your secrets but you never realized that she never told you hers until the day you knew you got betrayed. A friend who become best friends or "sisters" with the people who made fun or criticize you in front of the whole class and you still think that's okay until the day you knew she had betrayed you. A friend who lies to you and during the whole time together all she said to you was about studies and nothing else because for her, your brains is the only thing she wants. 


I was so stupid. So so stupid. What's the use of having brains but didn't even know that you've been betrayed and used by your best friend? From that incident onwards, i found it very hard to trust the people around me. I became independent and strong. But sometimes, when i thought of it, the pain came back and it won't even go away no matter how. Then i realized that i must really love her as my very very best friend. I love her so much that i won't even think to taking revenge for what she had done to me. I treated her as my younger sister and i am willing to take the pain myself rather than to see her getting hurt. It took me really long to learn to trust someone now. There are only two persons in this world that i really could depend on now because no matter what happen, they are the first two people who care for me and stand along with me when i have difficulties. And i thank God with all my heart for bringing these two people into my life. Joyce and Daxter, i love you guys and thank you for every tear you shed and every laugh you share with me. thank you for all the help, support and encouragement all this time. You guys made my day. I love you guys. 

Being loved is a blessing, to love is a courage.

Confessions

Confession #1- Rainie Yang is a very talented actress. I never thought so before that, but now i realized that she is, indeed far more talented than most of the Taiwanese actresses. There is no other person to look for if a comedy needs a funny and crazy female lead actress. She is a girl who is not afraid of being stupid and silly in front of the camera. To be honest, i don't think anyone can do such a good job acting like a dumb girl like she does. 


Confession #2- Wilber Pan is hot!!! I meant what i said. He's sizzling hot! I never knew he is an ABC. And he speaks English so fluently. I regretted for not paying attention on his music and drama. He is quite a talented actor and singer too. And from most of the BTS of the dramas he is in, i couldn't exactly say he is cool, because he is more of the funny type of guy. Almost everyone say he can be a comedian if he wants to.


Seriously people, watch Miss No Good and you'll know what i mean. Cheers! :)

Feelings

"I don’t know but I think I maybe falling for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I know you better
I am trying not to tell you but I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you"


This is really weird, because i just realized that i used to feel this way like what the lyrics say every single time i  think i like a guy, but it turns out to be all wrong after some time. But now everything's different. Very different. And it all started not long ago when i first met you. :) 

Little Pleasures of Life (Part 1)I

I never thought airplane food is that tasty (maybe i am too excited) :p

This tandoori chicken wrap tasted like heaven!!

How can something this nice can be bought from 7-Eleven taiwan, but not the ones in Kota Kinabalu??

Saliva Drippin'!!

Another delicious delicacy from 7-Eleven (only in Taiwan)

Ham and eggs!

Just the right food for a hot summer afternoon and guess what, it only costs 15tpd!! (round RM1.50)

Taiwan's signature tea

They even sell Malaysian products! (Taken from Family Mart, Taiwan)

Look at all these different variety of drinks.....

Spot the odd one out in this picture. Answer: Chopsticks
Explanation: How can one eat porridge with a pair of chopsticks??

Breakfast looks really good..

Rice in Taiwan is a bit more stickier that that of Malaysia. Most probably to enable them to eat it using chopsticks?

Lunch is looking good... :)

p.s. you can only find this in one place, TAIWAN!! 

:(

I.MISS.TAIWAN.AND.ITS.EVERYTHING. 

Hello Taipei!!!

Greetings and ni hao from Taipei!! Here am i again, blogging away in a hotel in Ximen, Taipei. Well, so far i am enjoying the food and other stuff here. But i realized that the people here in Taipei is not as friendly as the people in Kaoshiung, which makes me miss all my friends from around there and China as well.:( I really hope that i could go back there. Anyways, there's a mini concert with a bohemian theme right in front of the hotel where i am staying, and Jolin and Jam Tshiao are performing in less than 1 hour!!! So im just gonna stop right here and will upload tons of pics when i come back!! tata for now!! Wo ai Tai Wan!! :)

i am 800 miles away from you now.... when i get back to kota kinabalu, i will be 3554 miles away from you and when i reach sandakan, i will be 3695 miles away from you.... :(

From Kaoshiung with LOVE

Time passes so fast and now it's already the last day of summer camp. I really had lots of lots of fun during these few days. I got to know a lot of people from China, Taiwan and Vietnam. These people were awesome! They are friendly and kind and i will always remember the memories i had in taiwan. How i wish today is the first day of camp... This camp truly rocks! 

Things i have learnt from the first day:

1) Eating porridge with a pair of chopsticks.

2) Eating three meals with a pair of chopsticks.

3) To climb up 100+ stairs under the hot hot sun in a very short time.

4) To dance stupid but yet funny dances after breakfast and lunch.

5) To learn French in an English Class taught by an awesome and amazing Vietnamese teacher.

6)To not to feel bad after buying a dress which costs RM200 plus (which has an original price of RM700 plus)

7) To act as a girl who has a boyfriend who was gay before falling in love with me in a performance.

8) To be able to speak better chinese.

9) And lots more!!!

Well honestly speaking, i will miss this camp so freaking much!! And i do feel sad and i was trying so hard to prevent my tears from falling during the closing ceremony. And not forgetting one very special person i met who managed to make this camp better. :)